I've never quite understood the inconsistencies contained in the random opinions of society.
For example, let's take this - for lack of a better term - 'sandwich'.
Yes, the brand new Double Down, from KFC. What is the Double Down, you ask? How about two pieces of bacon, slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce - a brand new mayo-like concoction created 'specially for this product.
But where's the bread, you ask? Where's the bun? There is no bread and there is no bun and that's where this 'sandwich' differs and that's what makes it possibly the greatest 'sandwich' ever.
Then what, you ask, are the two bread/bun looking items on top and underneath the 'sandwich'? Well, hold onto your hats. That's two, Original Recipe, boneless chicken filets. Yes, I agree that it's glorious and quite possibly the greatest idea ever when it comes to sandwich creation.
But back to my initial point. What does this brilliant 'sandwich' have to do with the inconsistencies contained in the random opinions of society? Well, sit down and I'll tell you.
A couple of weeks ago, with the release of the Double Down, news items started popping up on various news outlet websites and bloggers everywhere rushed to their laptops to give their opinion on the 'sandwich'. On CNN.com, the Double Down was part of a larger article about the sudden, downward spiral of the fast food industry and its morals (where exactly could the industry spiral down to? To many, it already resides in the darkest depths of Hell itself - where, coincidentally, the Devil spends most of his time deep-frying Twinkies. And morals? Please!) with regards to its menu creations.
Bloggers, you can imagine, were torn. Some were giddy with excitement over just the idea. Some had actually tried the 'sandwich' and were blown away by it's wonderfulness, but were convinced they were on a one way flight to HeartAttackLand. On the other side, were the bloggers who I suspect have a broomsticks up their asses - required for their weekend jobs as snobby, Broken Social Scene-listening scarecrows. "My goodness!" they cried, "It's the beginning of the end of our society!"
And this is what I don't understand. This is the inconsistency I speak of. For all of its "evil" and "disgusting" qualities, what's the difference between the Double Down and, say, this...
Anything? I'd argue the bucket is much worse. How many pieces of that chicken would the average person eat? 4? The Double Down has two, boneless filets, a couple slices each of bacon and cheese and some sauce. But it's the Double Down which will help tip our society into some massive grease fire, where it will burn where it belongs - amongst its hamburgers and pulled pork poutine. "What has this society come to?" they ask, in equal parts hipster disbelief and misguided worry. This society has long been talking out of both sides of its collective anus.Another example? How many times, when you were a child, did you hear, "You can't eat that for breakfast!" The "that" could have been anything from a hamburger, to a chocolate bar. "No, no, you can't eat that!" But, apparently, you can eat this...
aaaand this...
Whaaaa?
How are those strips of bacon and those greasy eggs any different from a hamburger? And I'm willing to bet there's a hell of a lot more evil in that cereal than in your run-of-the-mill chocolate bar.
Regardless. The Double Down and menu creations of its ilk, will continue to be seen as some sort of doorway to evil, when a simple scan through its nutritional information and some simple math, would open some people's eyes to the fact they've been 'Double-Downing' their entire life.
Big Mac = 590 calories, 34 grams of fat, 1010 milligrams of sodium
Double Down = 540 calories, 32 grams of fat, 1380 milligrams of sodium
The Double Down is not a 'new low in junk food' as some have mentioned. Junk food's always been low. That's why it's called junk food.
Don't tell that to those who feel our society's slowly sliding down a trans fat hill on a bunch of McNugget toboggans. They already think the worst and wait with baited breath for something like the Double Down to appear which, to them, becomes the embodiment of all that is wrong with us as a whole. It's the big nudge, helping us along on our journey to the darkest depths.
Replace a bun with two pieces of meat? EVIL.
